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two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. the bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean. the bear started to chase one of the guys, who, eye glasses as it turns out, was from czechoslovakia. the bear soon caught up with him, and ate him alive. the other guy turned around and ran for eye glasses his life. a little while later, the second guy found a park ranger station and told his story. the ranger took his gun, and they both went out in search of the bear, in order to destroy it. soon, they came across two bears, one male, and one female. the ranger turned to the other guy and said: "quick... tell me which bear ate your friend!" the ranger levelled his gun and got ready to shoot. "i'm not really sure," said the other guy, "they both look similar." "quick! make up your mind!" said the ranger. "o.k.," said the other, "it was the male." the ranger promptly aimed and shot the female bear. the male ran off. using his knife, the ranger cut open the belly of the female and found the body of the other man. "but why didn't you shoot the male when i thought it was the male who ate my friend?" the other man asked. "well," said the ranger... "i never trust anyone who says that the czech's in the male!"

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A blonde was recently fired from an M&M factory for throwing away Ws and peeling the shells on the candies. Therefore, she needed a new job to support herself. After going around town asking if anyone needed work done, she found a man who needed a painte1. put both glasses lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup glasses of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. in one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. you may need to stand on the lid. 4. the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 5. flush the toilet three or four times. this provides a "power wash" and "rinse". 6. have someone open the front door of your home. be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 7. stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids. 8. the cat will rocket out of the toilet , streak through the bathroom and run outside where he will dry himself off. 9. both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean. sincerely, the dog

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