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sto gold
symptom - feet cold and wet. solution - glass being held at incorrect angle. rotate glass so that open end sto gold points toward ceiling. symptom - beer unusually pale and tasteless. solution - glass empty. get someone to buy you another beer. symptom - opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. solution - you have fallen over backward. have yourself lashed to bar. symptom - sto gold mouth contains cigarette butts. solution - you have fallen forward. see above. symptom - beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. solution - mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. retire to restroom, practice in mirror. symptom - floor blurred. solution - you are looking through bottom of empty glass. get someone to buy you another beer. symptom - floor moving. solution - you are being carried out. find out if you are being taken to another bar. symptom - room seems unusually dark. solution - bar has closed. confirm home address with bartender. symptom - everyone looks up to you and smiles. solution - you are dancing on the table. fall on somebody cushy-looking. symptom - beer is crystal-clear solution - it's water. somebody is trying to sober you up. punch him. symptom - hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. solution - you have been in a fight. apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them symptom - don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. solution - you've wandered into the wrong party. see if they have free beer. symptom - your singing sounds distorted. solution - the beer is too weak. have more beer until your voice improves. symptom - don't remember the words to the song. solution - beer is just right. play air guitar.BeiJing tour
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